Let’s be real …
With social media right at our finger tips we see a lot of women and also men wanting to look a certain way. Just looking at Instagram there are many posts about body goals, summer body and snap back posts. Those posts go past millions of peoples’ screens everyday “An intellectual or idealized image of what ones body is or should be like … ” – Dictionary
With being a part of NYC Pride I was able to see people who owned and loved their bodies! They were not afraid to show what they were working with. Now to be honest that is something that I have struggled with all my life. Being confident and loving my body and the skin that I am in.
I have always been a little on the “thicker” side and struggled with what clothes to wear that fit my body. Having body image issues, dressing was always hard, going out was always hard and feeling confident was a constant struggle. I think that it was not until college that I really began to love who I am and what I look like.
One thing that I had to overcome was shorts! Believe it or not up until about college I never wore shorts. I didn’t feel comfortable and confident with my legs so I alwayyyss wore leggings, regardless of how hot it was. Let me tell you I had some hot ass days.
Now this is actually the one thing that I didn’t really talk to my friends about. I felt like they couldn’t relate and they wouldn’t get it. Getting into a relationship with someone who loves my body and doesn’t understand why I don’t like my body was kind of confusing to me. I find myself talking to him about my body image issues and the struggles I had. I think that having someone telling me I was beautiful was great, although I had figure out how to see that on my own.
During college I learned different ways to appreciate and love my body. Here are some different ways that I tried to change my mindset.
- Words of affirmation sticky notes – I have a mirror in the middle of my room. When I would find quotes that I would like I would write them down and put them around the mirror. I tried to atleast read them once a week to remind myself of these little things.
- Avoid talking down upon your self – I have certainly done this in the past where I say im too fat for something. Or I tell someone that I look ugly, or something along those lines. I have since tried to stop talking like that because all it does is make me more upset.
- Hype myself up – Now this is an easy one to explain. Whenever you ar going out somewhere even just to class or a regular day, take a second to hype yourself up! Tell yourself that you look bomb today!
Body image is a hard topic to talk about, especially because it can affect a person’s whole life. It doesn’t matter if they are big, small or in between – you never know what someone is going through. The way our society portrays bodies makes it seem like there is an ideal body to have. Some people post their surgeries on social media. It makes it seem like in order to be loved by others you have to change yourself.
For my ladies, know that you are beautiful, and loved and the body that you are in is amazing. Sometimes you just need that one person to be your shopping buddy. My friend Maya at school is definitely mine and knows my thick thigh struggle. Someone like that makes your life a little bit easier.
Take the time and talk to your friends about this! You never know what someone is going through.
“People always ask me, You have so much confidence. Where did that come from? It came from me. One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl. … It doesn’t have anything to do with how the world perceives you. What matters is what you see. “– Gabourey Sidibe
Its been real ✌🏾